Twas the Night Before Sanctions

(Written as a humorous summary for a work project in 2020)

‘Twas the night before Sanctions, when all through the nation
Not a counterparty was stirring, not a vessel, grade or location.
The deals had been entered in the system with care,
In hopes that no hard blocks soon would be there.

The traders were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of P&L danced in their heads.
And BIAMs in their ‘kerchiefs, and Trade Control in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out of the Gold Tier there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the Windows laptop I flew like a flash,
Tore open the email, and forgot to wear a mask!

The moon on the breast of the new inbox note
Gave a luster of warning for all to behold.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles, his coursers they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

Now WONA! Now SLMT! Now, Products and Crude!
On GPNA! On SE(EE, Asia, Australia)! On IT teams too!
To the top of Risk Task Force, where a sanction might fall
Now block away! Block away! Block away all!

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas (and new releases) came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A SharePoint of slides he had flung on his back
With requirements and sanction data plans of attack

His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His work across time zones was also quite varied.
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
Not unlike a PM and team putting data in SNOW.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know that done criteria was set.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And signed off all changes, then turned with a jerk,
And closing each meeting by sending out notes
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle
But I heard him exclaim, in a holiday voice
Merry Christmas to all, now don’t pay that invoice!